shotgun in the front seat, empty passenger seat

my animals

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 23:16:38 GMT

i got a new kitten about a month ago. his name is herbert west.

here is my other cat:

it's not even december yet

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 04:07:33 GMT

~~ugh, fuck, why am i so awkward everywhere i go...~~

parents keep bugging me to give them a 'christmas list'. far be it from me to pass up free stuff, but considering my father's financial position it makes me wary. besides, i don't quite know what to ask for.

i think a livejournal paid account would be nice and i think for only something like $20 it's a perfectly all right gift! but then i remember that nobody reads this thing; my friends list is depressingly tiny and 40% of it is inactive. oh well. i don't ever really post anything of note, do i?

it is for this reason i've been trying to write more fanfiction, and get better at drawing things. so then i mightn't be such a waste of space.

motivation and talent - there's what i want for christmas!

damn dirty slash goggles!

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 00:03:35 GMT

now, don't get me wrong, i'm not the sort of fan who just mindlessly pairs up two characters because they happen to both be fine young gents (for romantic shipping purposes, anyway; i'm completely in favour of unbiased rule 34), but...am i the only one who noticed that nick seems to have more lines directed to ellis than to anyone else (even rochelle, for the heterosexually inclined)? perhaps the poor boy just stumbles into danger more often, or perhaps nick is more concerned for his safety than that of the others ~~oh, delicious tsundere~~.

whatever the case may be, anticipate pornography posthaste!

ramblings

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 16:26:01 GMT

i've got this awful scab right above my left elbow. it's been there for a week and a half; now i've reached the point where i can't stop picking at it.

-- after writing nonstop for a solid week and then suddenly stopping, my fingers are itching to start again; but the plot and progress of my novel repulses me so that i can't get back to it. i may whip up something later. hopefully fanfiction, i'm not active enough in...any fandom, really

i've just been watching old nostalgia critic videos all morning. not sure why. i don't even think they're that funny.

i might be slipping back into a depressive state.

anyone?

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 00:41:30 GMT

i was going to whore myself out for drabble fic requests, but then i remembered i don't share any fandoms with the almost everyone on my flist. :'( bawwww

in any case, i started doing nanowrimo, but then dropped it upon realising that 50,000 words is a massive amount, and i just can't write so much misery for so long. but i feel bad about abandoning it 1/4 of the way through, so i'd like to do some sort of writing exercise for the rest of the month to make up for it.

a lot of update

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 06:09:37 GMT

i haven't updated since the beginning of summer, have i? i was doing very well at the time.

i have had a good many emotional highs and dips since then. but at the moment i am doing just fine, thank you.

summer went decently and i finally talked mum into letting me go back to gw, so the school year has insofar been less than hellish. i am relatively sociable again; i respect and enjoy the presence of many of my teachers, and, despite the larger workload, i feel more accomplished with it, as though i have surpassed an obstacle; compare to last year when the workload was more like an irritating itch beneath my skin.

dad has, as i learned yesterday, lost his job. he's going to be looking for a new one in the coming weeks, and he will lose his car (which means he can't drive me to school on weeks i am with him, which means i will stay with mum 24/7 until he finds a new job or car, whichever comes first). everyone is optimistic but we are still unsure as to how this matter will work itself out.

i rearranged my room, and bought new furniture and, finally, a bookshelf. we were going to paint it this week but the sudden blow to the income has postponed that for a while.

and now that the real-life matters are out of the way: tsubasacon!

ubemelon and i went this past weekend. for those of you who don't know, tsubasacon is a rather small (but, as i discovered, nonetheless very entertaining) anime convention in huntington, wv. heather went in costume all three days (as the engineer from tf2, and china from hetalia) and i only on saturday (as ness from earthbound; i was not going to go in costume at all but everything seemed to fall into place over the course of one friday). i met a good number of very cool people who were pleasant to talk to; of course these people were vastly outnumbered by the people in their 20s and 30s who acted like 12-year-olds on gaiaonline and who made me humiliated to be there, but by avoiding the weeaboos and staying in the company of the generally cool people, we managed to get through things pretty okay.

i bought a plush kirby and a pig, and a gurren-dan flag. i also threw my money away on a melon ramune soda and melon bread. while both of these culinary excursions were thoroughly new and exciting experiences, i don't think i am ever going to try to eat all of one package of melon bread within the same 24-hour period again. i believe if things work out we will try to attend next year as well.

i think that's all i have for right now, i'll edit or post further if i think of things i missed.

sing a melody of love, oh love

Sat, 20 Jun 2009 06:41:09 GMT

you know what?

i think everything's going to turn out okay.

all these little things are speedbumps. it's going to be fine.

i didn't realize how much i missed this feeling of wanting to smile and not giving a shit if it looks good or not. (it does.)

i want to bottle this feeling so i can relive it the next time i feel like no one likes me. it will be hard to remember then.

the only bad thing to come out of this is that i might not finish that gory fic i was working on (i'm in too good of a mood), but i'm sure i'll get back to it some other time.

you. yes, you. i love you, don't forget it.

:)

so i watched the e3 panels today

Wed, 03 Jun 2009 03:03:00 GMT

nintendo was the only one i managed to catch live at all (my schedule sucks), and while i was impressed (well...not really, but it was better than last year's...also, microsoft's sucked, lol.), one thing DID stand out for me.

"Once, our industry defined our consumers in a limited way, focusing only on those people who were already actively involved as gamers. Now, it's different. Maybe you've noticed a woman on a plane playing the Nintendo DS system, or your uncle calling you for tips on how to beat his buddies in Mario Kart."

"Maybe you've noticed a woman on a plane playing the Nintendo DS system,"

"a woman on a plane playing the Nintendo DS system,"

"a woman"

now, i hardly EVER go on feminist rants (back to the kitchen, etc), but ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? you'd best be trolling, nintendo. i understand that the stereotype of the female gamer is one often abused, but we are out here. you might as well have said something like, "maybe you've seen a black person playing wii sports", or "perhaps you've seen a gay couple enjoying the ds system". i understand that there are more sexist things you could say, and my gender is not a part of my identity as a gamer, but this is just fucking retarded.

i know i'm going to regret this post in the morning.

oh yeah, and that wii motion plus bullshit? you put a weight on the bottom of it. then you made a flashy video. that's it. fuck you.

EDIT: oh yeah can't believe i forgot this! speaking of "those people who were already actively involved as gamers". why so much waggle, nintendo? actually...why so much waggle, EVERYONE? maybe you should stop making "innovations" (wii fit 2 and mario sequels, lol) and start focusing on THE HARDCORE FANBASE. ~~WHERE'S MY MOTHER3 NINTENDO ;_________;~~

oh hello is this still a thing

Fri, 22 May 2009 15:55:47 GMT

so my journal's pretty dead and i guess have to update it with some stuff about my life since nothing else is going on. it's not very interesting but ok whatever

so i'm kind of boned school-wise; i made a remark that my english teacher interpreted as a personal insult (oh boy wait till she hears what i really think) and that combined with my sleeping in class (i think i have some kind of undiagnosed sleeping disorder, seriously. i can't function without 12-14 hours of sleep) resulted in my being sent to the office, and they treated me like i'd brought a fucking gun to school or something. :||;; and i'm supposed to report to ISS monday morning (which...is a day off, i think, actually) but NO ONE WILL TELL ME WHERE THAT IS.

going camping with heather tonight/tomorrow. not that i'm not looking forward to it but it just had to be on the weekend that steam is offering tf2 for free, lol.

a couple of nights ago i had a dream that i was in a generic jrpg. my party and i were leveling up in the woods, killing monsters and shit. finally i got fed up and i was all I AM SICK AND TIRED OF KILLING EVERY BAT IN THESE GODFORESAKEN WOODS. WHERE DID THEY LEARN MAGIC ANYWAY and then another dude in my party was all "yeah i think one of them took out my left nipple"

i don't know what's going on any more

what else. oh yeah i should probably start working on my lithuania cosplay for tsubasacon

HEY EVERYBODY THIS POST HAS PORN IN IT

Sun, 22 Mar 2009 18:34:31 GMT

Title: Fun with a Camcorder
Fandom: Original (Et Cetera)
Rating: M (graphic sex)
Summary: Pristine gets his hands on Daniel's camcorder.

posting it here out of a desire for concrit and feedback, and also i haven't posted my writing publicly for years so i want to know how i'm doing.

it's part of a larger project so there's no real character background in this; i'll...get around to that eventually, or something.

….

“Hey! Hey, Daniel. …Say hi, Daniel.”

“Oh, God, Pristine, put that down.”

“No!”

“That’s my—mom got me that for my birthday, put it away—”

“How come I can’t play with your stuff?”

“Because it’s mine, now give that back.”

“No. Come get it.”

“That’ll just—you’re going to break it, Pristine, now put it down—”

There’s some sort of struggle, evidenced by the view jerking around and focusing on the floor for a few seconds, and there are clicking and scraping noises as the strap knocks against the camera while Daniel fumbles for the off button. He speaks above the sound of Pristine chuckling in the background: “Really, sometimes you’re so—”

The footage changes suddenly to Daniel on the bed between Pristine’s spread legs, teasing the tip of his engorged cock with his tongue. He sighs and takes it into his mouth, using one hand to pump at what won’t fit while the other moves lazily around the inside of Pristine’s thigh. The poltergeist moans and mumbles unintelligibly behind the camera; he reaches a hand forward and strokes Daniel’s hair encouragingly, moving his bangs aside so he can see Daniel’s face. Daniel whimpers around the object in his mouth and moves faster; Pristine loses himself momentarily in ecstasy and his hips jerk up against Daniel’s mouth. Daniel sputters and stops, looking up at Pristine in what starts as a glare, but then he goes pale and dives for the camera. (“Hey, stop that—!” “I told you to give that back, and now look what you’ve done, you—”) The camera lands somewhere next to them on the bed, so the next few minutes consist of footage of Daniel’s still-clothed lower half and Pristine’s naked erection, while Pristine pulls the blond into his lap and holds his arms still while he struggles and tries to punch Pristine (“I hate you, why would you do that, that was a gift from my mother and you’re using it for—”).

“Ssshh.” Pristine waits until Daniel stops squirming to let go of his wrists. “Daniel, it’s not that big of a deal—” Daniel huffs. “…I’m sorry. I didn’t know it would upset you so much, I just…I need something to beat off to when you’re not here.”

Unsurprisingly, Daniel is not swayed by this.

“…You’re beautiful, Daniel. Please, just let me do this—”

“I don’t want this recorded! Just doing it’s fine; if it’s on film then it could get out and I, I could lose my scholarship and then I’d have t-to go h-h-home—” His shoulders are shuddering. Pristine is still in a rare moment of guilt, then he raises his hands to cup Daniel’s cheeks.

“Don’t cry. Please, don’t cry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…I’ll never let anyone see it, not anyone. I’ll delete it if you want. Please…”

“No, you…you already started, m-might as well finish it…”

Pristine idly cradles Daniel’s face in his hands. “Thank you.” He kisses him once, quick and chaste; twice, long and slow, and also more intimate, his teeth nipping at Daniel’s bottom lip and the corners of his mouth and Daniel nuzzling his nose against Pristine’s. Their hands slide across each other’s shoulders, down their backs; Daniel’s hands caress Pristine’s bare waist and Pristine’s hands fumble in affection with Daniel’s belt.

When Daniel’s rid of his (stupid, dumb, whose idea was it to invent) trousers, Pristine wastes no time in pushing their straining arousals together. Daniel makes a noise between a pleasantly surprised gasp and a needy, desperate whimper; Pristine growls and grinds his hips against Daniel’s. Friction increases. Daniel’s keening whimpers turn into wanton moans and Pristine’s grunts into heavy breathing and low, wanting noises. Finally Daniel arches his back and gasps “Please, stop, I want—I need you, Pristine—inside me—”

The poltergeist is more than happy to oblige as he lays down and rests his hands on Daniel’s hips while the blond gyrates his ass against Pristine’s hips. The poltergeist, now dimly registering that the camera is still beside them, picks it up; he lowers it almost to his chest and points it upward, filming his hard, leaking cock, then his slender abdomen with muscles twitching under his belly as he moves, then his perfectly rounded, milky-white (though now taking on a deep red-pink flush) shoulders and finally his face, red with exertion and arousal, eyes pressed shut and mouth open as he lets out moan after shuddering moan.

His eyes flutter open, staring into Pristine and the camera lens, and he mumbles: “What’re y’doing, stupid—gimme th’lube—”

Pristine gasps “oh” and, without moving the camera (intentionally; he has to turn over to reach the bedside table so it shakes a bit) reaches for the tube in the drawer beside the bed. He hands it to Daniel, who smears its contents on his fingers and (Pristine rarely sees this; it’s one of the most arousing images he knows of and he is so glad he hit record) slips his hand behind himself and pushes one digit inside with a loud, contented sigh. He moves it further into himself, then hooks it and his hips jerk forward, gasping as he brushes against something inside of himself. “Oh,” he whimpers, inserting a second finger; Pristine rubs the hand that isn’t holding the camera along the front of Daniel’s thigh.

Daniel stretches himself, head lolling to the side as he moves his fingers back and forth—in and out—and Pristine is painfully hard and can’t wait any more and mumbles “hurry, please”. Daniel laughs breathlessly and removes his fingers, holding himself apart as he lowers himself onto Pristine’s erection. The poltergeist moans, long and low and feeling like he’s waited forever for this, and Daniel exhales sharply and his facial expression tightens with the pain of penetration. Pristine gives him a few moments, not wanting to ruin the mood by being overeager. After what seems like forever Daniel braces himself against Pristine’s knees and brings himself up and almost completely off of Pristine before coming back down again, and Pristine knows he’s hit that spot inside of Daniel because a high-pitched mewl rips out of Daniel’s throat when he’s all the way back down. It’s so incredibly hot and almost suffocatingly tight around him, and Daniel’s slow speed is agonizing to him but at the same time the image of Daniel riding and fucking himself on him is so beautiful and arousing that he can’t bring himself to push Daniel onto the bottom (and besides, one hand is still busy holding the camera).

Daniel is only slow at first; he wants it as much as Pristine does and when he gets a good grip on his knees he is bouncing and slamming himself against Pristine as hard as he can, and every movement pulls a moan or gasp or whimper from their throats. Daniel’s head rolls back and his knees spread further apart. He pauses, is still, (Pristine almost weeps until) he mumbles, almost incoherent through the fog of sex, “Pristine, I want you to—”

He doesn’t even have to finish his sentence. Pristine sets the camera momentarily aside as he sits up and flips Daniel onto his back on the bed, gripping him hard at the back of the knees and slamming into him as hard as he can. Daniel cries out ecstatically. Pristine hurriedly grabs the camera and raises it to film Daniel’s heaving chest and fingers curled in the sheets and eyes shut tight as Pristine thrusts into him again and again, never losing momentum for even a second. Daniel’s eyes shoot open and he only gasps his name before arching his back, jerking his hips and coming messily over his and Pristine’s stomach; the resulting spasming of muscles inside of Daniel leads to Pristine’s intense climax as well. He buries his chin into the nook of Daniel’s shoulder while he rides out his orgasm, moaning into the skin just between his jaw and his ear. The camera lens is pushed against Daniel’s chest: the visuals are black but the audio is still clear.

There is a jarring change of scenery again. Daniel is curled against Pristine’s side, sleepy in afterglow. He smiles at the camera and kisses the poltergeist—slow, tender; he turns the camera to capture this before the video ends.

this must be what opium feels like

Sat, 14 Mar 2009 07:18:32 GMT

this is the most relaxing song ever.

no, really, i mean it. i went on a downloading binge and grabbed a couple of boc albums, and listened to this song because i share a name with it. and it just...oh god, there are no words. it's like an auditory sedative. i wish it was longer; i have it on loop. it's simple and repetitive but it works, damn it. so i turned it on and played a bit of tetris.

it was the worst tetris game i've ever played in my life. so? it was fucking relaxing as hell. god, it's like...okay. i can't even describe it to you. here:

http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?zdmwnlt1ygy

now if you'll excuse me, i need to hook my ipod up to a surround sound system and fall asleep in the tub.

i think i might be on to something

Sat, 14 Feb 2009 20:16:10 GMT

i had a dream, and i feel i have to write it down before i forget, because it was, in some way, exceptional. it wasn't the most frightening dream i've ever had and it wasn't the most absurd but i feel that i have to record it nonetheless.

at the beginning it involved the surroundings of my house morphing. there was my driveway and the road and first row of houses surrounding it, but beyond that it was just a large, layered, snow-covered mountain, and each layer had three or four small black cottages scattered across it, and at the very top was a huge, gothic castle; the mountain was far too tall for me to climb but still small enough for me to be able to see the very top in clarity. this transformation of the landscape happened in a dreamlike way where i was aware i was aware of the change and that there had been something different there before, but i really thought nothing of it, as though it was perfectly normal.

secondly, there was a dragon.

it seemed to be dead in the middle of the road, but after a few hours it turned out to be neither dead nor sleeping, merely waiting, and it stood up and began to walk around, not really causing any harm but also not really going anywhere; it more or less was walking in circles. i was aware, to a small extent, of the oddity of it, but the thing i was most fascinated by was that it was identical to a charizard.

at this time was when i saw the first signs of a certain omnipotent being that was present and central to the rest of the dream. at this point, it was male, and his appearance was similar to most classical western interpretations of the christian god, but he was wearing a large, regal crown. i never saw him, but i was aware of his appearance somehow. the very first time i encountered this being was when i "overheard" (i can't recall if it was from him personally, or one of his subordinates - perhaps both; my dreams tend to work like that) that not only had he placed the dragon in the road, but it was placed there to stop me, personally. it was large enough that it took up most of the road, so that (except on one occasion where it was passed by a school bus; i believe the dragon let it pass on purpose simply because i was not on it) if i tried to drive down that road i could not. basically, it was there waiting for when i would have to go to school, and since i would not be able to drive past it (this was the main, shortest route), i would be forced to take the other, longer way - which was around the back of the mountain. i'm not sure exactly what was behind the mountain; i believe it would have been central to the conclusion that i never reached.

authorities arrived, however, before i would actually deal with the thing myself. a gigantic bulldozer as tall as the mountain itself appeared and literally crushed the dragon, and proceeded in disposing of it behind the mountain. the bulldozer and police that accompanied it seemed unwilling to actually go to the back of the mountain, so they put it in a bag at the end of a long, sturdy rope attached to the neck of the bulldozer, and swung it around, giving it enough momentum that when it was detached from the bulldozer it would simply fly over the mountain on its own. they failed at least once before succeeding.

the whole part about the dragon is really sort of insignificant; it only acts as foreshadowing for the rest of the dream in the introduction of the 'god' character and that s/he had something against me, personally. also the theme of something foreboding being behind the mountain (the authorities tried to dispose of the dragon back there without going there themselves), but this wasn't really touched upon in the rest of the dream, though i believe it would have been important if i'd stayed asleep a little longer.

but here is where the central part of the dream begins. my family and i have, somehow, been introduced to a certain community game. it is like a cross between a scavenger hunt and a very elaborate haunted house. a group of people (there was no limit on how many; usually i would see a group of at least four, and i suppose it would have been possible to try it alone, though considering that many of the events were impossible to get through without some sort of cooperation...) would register their team and then they'd proceed onto the playing ground, which was a large area that looked as though it once housed a neighbourhood, but none of the houses were in one piece - sometimes it would be as small as a hole torn in the roof or wall and other times there was nothing left standing but the foundation. it was not necessary to enter all of them for the game's purposes, so most of them were just for show. i should also note before i forget that the many parts of the game took place in what should have been daylight hours, but it always appeared to be night or dusk or early dawn. the game consisted of a series of short and terrifying events (though the game's administration assured everyone that they were absolutely safe, that it was all for fun and we could quit any time we wanted if we felt uncomfortable), and was three days long (only consisting of the daylight hours; in the night we were free to go home).

my team varied, since my imagination can't seem to keep its facts straight. at all times the team had myself, my dad, and my three younger siblings, but occasionally my mother would be a part of the team, or heather; at one point even my grandmother was there. the rest of my team was participating because it looked like fun, and i was participating because the at the root of the game was 'god' - who had, at this point, changed to a giant female serpent. at the end of the game, the teams would have to battle her. it was completely possible to win - it wasn't a complete death trap and i saw many people playing for the second or third time (though i believe the serpent was losing on purpose) - but if you lost, you were dead. i was playing because i wanted to be a hero and kill her. (have i ever mentioned that the me in my dreams is much more courageous, confident, and all-around badass than i am in real life?) i think she knew this.

the first event took place soon after we registered. my team and i settled in a small house without walls, and sat against a corner. we got the message "first event" - whether it was over a speaker or it merely appeared in front of us i don't know. we had only seconds after this message to prepare when a huge, wild dog bounded out of nowhere, barking with its fangs bared, and proceeded to attack my legs.

i screamed, of course. i tried to fight the thing off but it absolutely wouldn't budge. somehow i was given instructions on how to deal with it - pull its hair, and call its name. the name wasn't given, so i had to guess. i tried "derek" first (i can't quite recall what significance the name derek had, though i know it was somehow), and after it didn't stop, i tried "aaron". i don't know how i knew its name, especially since i think most human names sound silly on animals, but it worked; the dog just stepped back and looked at me meekly.

after this was a long series of events; unfortunately my memory of the dream is quickly dissolving since it has taken me so long to get to this point. the only other event i recall was one where we had to help a family evacuate themselves and all their precious belongings from their home, as it would literally be flattened in a certain time limit due to a case of mistaken identity. now that i think about it, i'm not actually sure if this had anything to do with the game or not. eventually we were at the end of the second day, and we were given instructions on a certain ritual to perform. it was a short and exceedingly simple dance, and it would have prevented the serpent from listening in as we planned that night (in retrospect, this is very silly). at this point, i had discovered that the serpent was not at all objected to my revealing her existence, but revealing the fact that she was observing us - i tried to tell my team this, but my voice seemed to suddenly stop working, and i turned around and saw the lower half of the serpent draped over the wall. (no one else could see her, which further proves that she was out to get me personally). audrey volunteered to learn the dance, so that none of the rest of us would have to bother. that night as we were driving home i felt i needed to inform my family of what the serpent was, and what i was planning to do. audrey (of course) absolutely refused to do the dance. i begged her to the point of tears and she just kept repeating "why bother?"

this is where i woke up. the third day of the game would have held some sort of revelation and a satisfying conclusion to the rest of the dream, but alas. (it should also be noted that this isn't the entire dream, just the end of it - the first half was much more pleasant but proportionally less interesting. it involved me getting my hands on a very nice little america/canada doujinshi with shota and sex in a lake. ...wow, i'm even creepy in my dreams.)

aliens attack

Sat, 15 Nov 2008 00:14:13 GMT

OH my god i'm scared :c

okay, so my dad and my little brother have...disappeared, i guess. mom says they're not at fletcher's football practice like they said they'd be, and she says he's not answering his phone. creepy enough on its own.

later i go to my room and as i'm walking in i distinctly hear the sound of my window creaking shut. when i go up to check it, it's locked and there's no one else in my room. also my ipod disappeared.

h-hold me

barack obama: president of awesome

Thu, 06 Nov 2008 00:37:57 GMT

i need to get out of the habit of posting like once every fucking two months. hetalia and franken fran have collectively absorbed my whole goddamn life. there are definitely a few things wrong with me but i've got more important things to cover~~!

of course, the election. yeah, i supported obama. obviously in my own way, as i'm like 14 and can't vote and i uh...didn't attend political rallies or anything but i made sure to be a total douche to everybody i met who didn't support obama.

lol jk. that said i think when it comes down to it, the whole election was really biden vs palin, because obama (as much as i hate to admit it) will probably be assassinated and i don't think mccain plans on staying alive for 4 years. and i cannot fucking stand sarah palin. if mccain was going to mindlessly pander to feminists he could have at least picked a woman who was not a fucking retard. but i do like that mccain wasn't a sore loser about the whole thing. c:

my mom also pushed me away from supporting mccain due to the fact that she supported him, which normally i wouldn't mind but she was being a real dick about it. she kept saying that all of obama's supporters are stupid (which is somehow completely valid while my all of mccain's supporters are stupid argument was not) and that i was only supporting obama to be "cool" (what?) and that i was insecure about racism or something and only voting for obama because he was black (haha, no).

speaking of being racist, here are a few little gems my mom popped out over the last few weeks:

while driving me home from an hour-long theatre practice, she claimed to be "extremely good at judging people" and, despite the fact that she had never even talked to any of the students personally, claimed that "all of those boys, whether they know it yet or not, are FAGGOTS."
this morning she insisted that i play my ipod over the car stereo. "crank that cavalry boy" came on shuffle and she said "haha, is this whitey's version of soulja boy?" when i responded "actually, neither of the guys in this band are white", she told me to stop being racist.
"i'm not white! i have black friends!" (...what?)

on a semi-different note, i am neither gay nor a resident of california but i am SO FUCKING ENRAGED that prop 8 passed. i'd elaborate but there's no real way to express my rage without breaking my computer.

tl;dr: america fuck yeah, hooray for gays, my mum thinks i'm racist

spuffinerf

Sat, 20 Sep 2008 23:23:31 GMT

uh...yeah, okay.

so basically lots of shit's been going on. but, you know. i just haven't posted since...july? jesus.

so mom decided at the last minute to move to hurricane, which means that, in the last week of summer, i had to alert all my friends that i actually WAS switching schools and sorry guys lol. and so followed a whole lot of bullshit not important enough to get into, and now i'm going to white people central. (every time i see the skinhead kid in the halls i want to pat him on the ass, just to see what he does.)

the school runs on a block schedule, which means i have 4 1.5-hour-long classes a day, with 4-5 classes per semester. kind of gay but i have hardly any homework and i don't TOUCH geometry until january, so woo? i guess.

also i have theatre class. so THAT'S awesome.

no weeaboo faggotry for me today! i haven't caught up with anything yet and i've been watching he is my master for two months because i'm fucking slow!~~

anime sucks

Sun, 27 Jul 2008 20:05:00 GMT

i wish i could keep up with currently-airing anime. i really do. because everyone's crapping their pants over xxxHOLiC kei, allison to lillia, antique bakery, code gayass r2, et cetera; and don't get me wrong, i AM looking forward to those. but the only way i can watch a series is if i wait until it's over, then watch all of it in one sitting (unless it's more than 26 episodes, in which case i take breaks, because i don't want to fucking DIE OF FATNESS). because if i wait more than a day in between episodes, one of two things happens. either my ADHD kicks in and i get distracted by the nearest shiny thing (which is what happened the first time i tried to watch hidamari sketch) or, by the time the next episode comes out, i've completely forgotten the specifics of the plot, character names, events of the previous episode, etc. which is even worse if i tried to keep up with all the series above at once.

so that's what i do. skim through the first episode or two to see if it's worth my time, wait for it to finish, and download a batch torrent. i might not be on the bandwagon but i'm trailing close behind. the last time i kept up with a series episode-by-episode was when ouran host club was on, and the next time in the forseeable future will probably be for this. fuck yes katsuyuki konishi you are the manliest america-kun ever

anyway here's the shit i watched this week

vampire knight: here's the long or short of it. if you like the manga, you'll like the anime. it's not as good as the manga, especially in the art - while it does a good job of translating matsuri hino's style into anime, there are a handful of QUALITY moments to be found and the animation, overall, does not stick out, especially during scenes where it should (such as the few-and-far-between action bits). not to mention that the story feels haphazardly thrown-together at the end when it tries to fit...what are we up to now, 40?...chapters into a 13-episode series, and it STILL ends with a cliffhanger (although it was probably intentional, as the second season's been confirmed). but what's the point in ending with a cliffhanger when deen was trying so desperately to squish the entire story together? ESPECIALLY when following the manga storyline instead of skipping ahead would have been a decent cliffhanger anyway? ...other than that, though, it's pretty good (if you're the kind of person who likes matsuri hino's parade of sparkly bishounen masquerading as vampire mythology). voice-acting is nice (i love me some mamoru miyano) and, while the op is standard boy band j-pop fare, the ed is very nice, and also scary as shit. 7/10. (yes that's right bitches i'm using a numerical system now)

junjou romantica: remember when i said last week that i'd praise this series regardless of quality JUST because it had mansex? ...well, okay, not gonna lie, that bit was true. but it was much better than i expected, even without the smut. i haven't read the manga yet, so i'm not sure how it holds up; i'm judging the anime by itself. anyway. i was surprised by the characterization; the characters stand apart from most rapist!seme and submissive!feminine!uke archetypes for the most part, and the not-quite-even division of the story between the three couples keeps the series feeling fresh, though it can become confusing after a while, as at least three of the characters can be very easily mistaken for each other. speaking of the character design, it's all right for a bl series (or at least better than gravitation. but fuck you EVERYTHING'S better than gravitation), though i'm not gonna lie - the SQUARECHIN in most of the designs started to weird me out after a while. the story (stories?) are executed well, with one exception: the first episode bugged the hell out of me. here's how it went:
misaki: WTF YOU FREAK
usami: surprise handjob
misaki: omg wtf
*five minutes later*
misaki: *acting totally normal, as if aforementioned surprise handjob never happened*
i mean...really? i know everyone loves surprise handjobs, but was it completely necessary to overlook it COMPLETELY for the sake of hurrying to the rest of the mansex as quickly as possible? ...no real complaints other than that (except for that studio deen does shitty animation, but i already mentioned that), and any that i may have had were made up for tenfold by the series' humor. seriously, it's funny as shit. 9/10.

amaenaideyo!! katsu!: WHY DID I WATCH THIS
FUCK

hidamari sketch: anyone who says lucky star is the best anime about cute girls doing cute things has never seen hidamari sketch. i believe i've already mentioned somewhere about how much i love studio shaft's quirky animation, so i don't need to bring that up. the character designs are adorable, the music is amazing (sketch switch > motteke! sailor fuku. just so you know) and it's fucking funny. don't really have much more to say, so 10/10.

TUNE IN NEXT WEEK, WHEN I MAKE IT ACHINGLY APPARENT THAT I ACTUALLY DON'T HAVE A FUCKING LIFE

not so much

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 00:39:47 GMT

all right, i actually have shit to talk about today.

i went to see 'the dark knight' last night, which was awesome. not gonna elaborate on that, because it's not the point and if you want to see someone talking about how awesome 'the dark knight' was you don't have to walk more than three feet. anyway, so we get home and mom's turned her computer off and hidden it somewhere. and so i'm like "wtf bro, you said you'd let me use it when we got back" and she's like "NO I DIDN'T and it's LATE go to BED" and i'm like "uh yes you did, but never mind that, can i like watch tv or something" and she's like "NO" and i'm like "[sigh] okay, look. can i at least stay down here with my ipod so i don't have to hear or even THINK about you and your boyfriend having sex." and she goes absolutely APESHIT, and demands an apology, and takes my ipod. and so i go "look, i hear it every night, it's DISGUSTING, i don't want to think about it." and she goes "WHAT, so you think it's ABNORMAL that i have SEX?"

...yes! of course! any child that doesn't want to hear their mother and a guy who looks like a caveman engaging in coitus must feel that way because they find sexual contact as a whole repulsive! LOGIC

so anyway point is that i had to stay up in my room and try to sleep while putting up with...you know, that.

ehh but fuck that. time for another semi-weekly update on what weeaboo
pigshit i've found myself wading around in again.

amaenaideyo!!: in all honesty i can't remember how this got on my to-watch list. like, at all. but the point is that it's there and i wound up sitting through it. it wasn't intolerably horrid (see DAYMONBEN), but it wasn't very good, even by male harem standards. the characters are two-dimensional, their designs are generic, the humor falls flat, and the animation jumps around from being halfway decent in the first episode to points in the series where it's just unbearable. but hey, at least the finale has titties.
all that said, there was ONE character i found myself enjoying: sumi. not because of her character, she was the same generic moe type you could find in a thousand other series; i'd just like to pet her eyebrows.

.hack//legend of the twilight: ehhhhs'ok. not as good as SIGN, certainly more lighthearted, but it's still better than most of the stuff i trudged through this week. not much to say on this one.

ef - a tale of memories.: this was probably the best one this week. no, definitely. the story was great, multi-layered but still easy to follow, and tragic (was it the first? second? epsiode where chihiro started crying over making friends with renji? either way, i cried. the SO RONERY types always get to me). the animation was absolutely brilliant (yaaay SHAFT <3), not as trippy as zetsubou sensei, but still unique enough to stand out. the series' one weakness is its character design. okay, yes, they're very shiny and nice to look at. but miyano's design could not have been more generic if they tried. and their hair was too big. made their heads look disproportionate to their bodies. creepy. speaking of hair, i can't take renji's character seriously at all. lol, roosterhead.

demonbane: or as i like to call it, DEMONBARG. this one wins the week's prize for "most unbearable, derivative pile of shit ever." while i can't be assed to go into an in-depth plot description, here's a little idea: take dragonball z, mahou shoujo lyrical nanoha, shakugan no shana, and some pitiful-looking 3D-animated robots, throw them together haphazardly in a blender, feed the result to h.p. lovecraft, then scoop up the excrement and smear it on a canvas. and that's DORMENBANG. the plot is muddled and nearly impossible to follow, the giant robots are imbalanced and look as if they'll topple over at any moment, the animation is utterly unbearable...among other things. and the writing! to call the characters two-dimensional is an exaggerated compliment; their personalities can be summed up in three words or less. the series' roots as an eroge shine through ~~at times~~ frequently, and i hoped that this would, at least, provide it with attractive-if-generic character designs (as these things often do) - but jesus christ. there isn't a decent design in the entire cast. they all swing between incredibly generic and difficult to look at. the series' only grace is that, at one point, a character mentions that "he wouldn't die, even if you killed him." take that, emiya shiro!

siiigh. anyway, my to-watch list for the next two weeks includes vampire knight, junjou romantica, angelique ~ kokoro no mezameru toki ~ and myself ; yourself. all of which are certainly...promising. ~~but you know i'll praise the shit out of junjou romantica, JUST because it has gay sex.~~ STAY TUNED

repost

Sat, 21 Jun 2008 15:56:53 GMT

OH GOD I HAD THE BEST DREAM EVER

okay so my mom was like "we're going swimming" and i was like "that's cool" and then it turned out we were just going to the swimming pool in my dad's backyard and so i was like "oh, that's still cool i guess." and then we got there and my dad had like 20 pizzas and all sorts of snack treats. and i was like "why all the food?" and he was like "because there is going to be a PARTY here." and i was like "THAT IS AWESOME." and so we were hanging out and watching tv for a while and a couple of my dad's friends showed up and i was like "this is a crappy party." and then THE ENTIRE CAST OF SNL SHOWED UP, and i was like "HOLY CRAP THIS IS AWESOME." and then after a while my entire class showed up, and i was like "why are you here, i hate most of you people." but everyone that i liked was there, so it was okay. so we were hanging out and eating snacks for a while and seth meyers and andy samberg were hogging the pool, and this kid in my class kept making fun of my younger sister for some reason. and then my dad, amy poehler, and me and some other unimportant people were hanging out in the basement and eating pizza and talking. and while we were talking this guy came down the stairs, and nobody knew who he was, but he was really tall and TOTALLY NAKED. and so everybody got really quiet and just stared at him, and he just stared back at us, and then he looked down at himself and he was like "oh." like he had only just realized he was naked. and then he ran upstairs.

and then i woke up.

side effects may include the hall of fame

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 10:52:22 GMT

does it make me a bad person that i will refuse and denounce a musician purely because of their behavior? just bringing this up because i was watching fuse and i saw the atreyu video for "falling down" and it was based on the outsiders, and i fucking raged. not because i don't like the outsiders but because atreyu is a small cult of douchebaggery.

other than that, ehh my summer's been kinda shitty. but i'm only two weeks into it.

first week out was at dad's and that was good enough; i spent the first half of the week playing through earthbound zero and it was awesome and by wednesday i was about halfway through the game. i was playing nonstop because there are like maybe two nes emulators in fucking existence for macs, and the one i had would not save or open save states, so i wanted to beat it within the week.

and then - and then...

on wednesday the emulator just fucking reset, for no reason. i didn't even rage, i think i just threw up a little. but then i downloaded one that actually fucking works. it saves and it even has a more accurate palette. but then i didn't play any more that week because i was numb all over. and so then i went back to mom's and grandma babysat that weekend which is a WHOLE different story, so i'll skip over that straight to how i have to go to summer school next week and i haven't left the house all week and i think i'm getting a little crazy.

woo

Sat, 07 Jun 2008 10:30:12 GMT

arrgh, fuck you /v/ and your daily gay kirby threads. now i'm back in the fandom except all i can think about is porn (more than usual, i mean), and it's gotten to the point that i've gone back to finish canvas curse and all i can think is DAMN, he would look fine with a dick in him. anyway

went to see baby mama today. it was...good, not as good as i was expecting, but still among the better comedies. also my girlyrection for tina fey has been pretty much confirmed because i couldn't stop staring at her cleavage, even when i didn't want to. my eyes were just sort of...drawn there.

also~~ i finally found a working earthbound emulator that doesn't freeze up every like five goddamn seconds. SO HAPPY.

oh yeah and school's out. that's cool i guess

dig behind the bones to get down to the core

Sat, 10 May 2008 19:06:05 GMT

iiiiiiiiiiiiiii

just bought the new fftl album. ♥

why yes i AM posting this everywhere

and hot topic is for fags, but then it was like eight bucks and i got a free bonus track so what the hell. and so on the way home i gave it to mom to put in the cd player and she MADE A HUGE ASS SCRATCH ON THE BACK, GODDAMN

i also bought 'remember that i ♥ you' by kimya dawson. and it cost like twice as much as the fftl album what the fuck

party hardy

Thu, 01 May 2008 13:06:18 GMT

kindergraph.muxtape.com

do it faggots ♥

i am a vampire

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 01:52:51 GMT

urk. okay. so.

been almost a month since i updated. nobody reads this anyway, but whatever.

i have a 100-point project due in english tomorrow, except i didn't do it because mom wouldn't let me jack her photo album. :\ i'll see if mrs wright will let me put it off another week. pppprobably not. old bibbick broke, and no longer recharges anywhere but dad's house. which is wierd. so dad gave me his old one (which is still one of the third-generation nanos) and it's pretty wicked. audrey got like straight Fs and mom said i could have her computer until she got her grades up, and then i found out she'd been downloading shitloads of porn and now it's mine like permanently. possibly.

also. squizz is gone. ;____________;

dad said that he couldn't take care of two cats, so he took it to the shelter. they have TONS of room so there won't be a reason to euthanize him, which is good, and dad struck a deal with the staff, so that if they run out of room and nobody adopts him, we'll take him back. and we can call them like daily and see how he's doing. so i'm guessing dad didn't just take him out and shoot him, or something...unless it's an overly elaborate hoax.

still though...squizz ;___; <333 i'll miss the little retard.

scuse me while i baaawwwww

we need to talk

Thu, 20 Mar 2008 02:22:00 GMT

about how fucking broke i am.

and by that, i mean we're going to talk about the lj strike and communist russia.

for those of you who haven't heard of it, go look it up your goddamn self i'm too fucking lazy. basically communist russians did a few naughty things to the elgay servers. namely, wiping out some interests from the most popular interests page, and eliminating the basic account option upon new member registration. and possibly a few other things i'm not aware of yet.

this doesn't affect me, really, though it was a pretty douchebag move on SUP's part.

concerning the strike.

regardless of how many people you get to stop posting on lj for 24 hours, it doesn't mean shit.

no, i'm probably not going to post this friday, but that's because it's the friday before my spring break and i will be off refining my ssbb ass-kicking skills. or because i don't have a computer (besides this mac. MACS ARE FOR FAGGOTS). anyway, point is i won't be 'participating' in the strike because it won't change shit. if it does anything it'll just take a load off of lj's servers. communist russia does not sympathize.

if you can get people to start cancelling your subscriptions? a LOT of people? yeah, maybe then you'll draw attention.

...i have more to say but south park is on right now

i should take up shoplifting

Wed, 12 Mar 2008 18:50:48 GMT

ha ha, oh wow. making this entry from school, for obvious reasons.

kso. last night i was IMing with sunlit_insomnia and cornbinks and heather left to go to mallwart, and i went to talk to alan but he was signed out, so i grabbed my ipod and started moshing (i know it sounds difficult to mosh alone, but i can pull it off trust me)

so then mom comes into my room and yells at me for jumping around, and by that point i'm back on my computer. she's bitching and bitching about BLARG BLARG I CAN'T SELL THE HOUSE IF YOU JUMP AROUND FOR SOME REASON. and then, because he's got perfect timing, alan sends me a silly little quip on aim. i know i should've ignored him if mom was bitching at me, but the window was right at the front of the screen and the imrcv sound was on, so i just looked at the screen instinctively. and it was funny, and i grin'd.

and then mom throws a bitchfit and screams DON'T FUCKING LAUGH AT ME >:C and pushes me out of my chair and picks up the computer (in the process, knocking my glass of peach juice off the desk and making a HUEG dent in the front of my bed, which she later tried to blame me for). she tears off the screen (it was hanging by a thread anyway, she only advanced the inevitable) and throws the keyboard on the ground (which knocks out the cd drive) and starts jumping on it.

i think if past experience is any indication, my mother never has right to bitch at me about anger management issues again, ever.

anyway.

and so then she's screaming at me "DON'T LAUGH AT ME" and i'm yelling back "WHEN DID I LAUGH AT YOU" and this exchange goes on for a while, and she finally yells "YOU SMIRKED AT ME" and i go "ooh...that wasn't at YOU, someone sent me something funny and i laughed!" and then she stops, and says "well, i was going to smash it anyway! any SENSIBLE adult would have smashed it a long time ago!"

yeah, fuck restricted access! senselessly destroying an expensive piece of equipment in a fit of childish rage is the mature, adult thing to do.

and a long, long argument followed after that. basically i kept trying to explain to her why it was stupid of her to smash a computer and NOT feel bad about it after proving it was a misunderstanding; and she continued to try to make me feel like the bad guy. one interesting exchange:

mom: YOU'RE SO SELFISHHH YOU NEVER THINK ABOUT ME >:C
me: uh, actually i think about you all the time. it worries me how emotionally unstable you are.
mom: EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE? DID HEATHER TEACH YOU THOSE WORDS?

yeah, because i'm not able to think for myself, apparently. after that:

me: YOU'RE the one who's selfish, you cook and clean but you never think about what we WANT! you buy things for us but the only person whos emotional needs you're tending for are your own!
mom: I THINK ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME, LIKE WHENEVER WE'RE TRYING TO THINK OF WHERE TO GO EAT DINNER I IGNORE EVERYONE ELSE AND GO TO WHERE YOU WANT TO EAT.

yeah, that was her argument. i swear to god i'm not making this up.

there's other shit, but class is almost over.